Fear of Flying Part II

I think this is the worst flight I’ve had since I started my new job 5 months ago. By my count, this is my 19th flight. It would have been my 20th flight but Southwest canceled my flight home from Long Island one day so I had to take a train home from New York to Baltimore. Today, we flew for at least 45 minutes and the fasten seatbelt sign still glowed. We stayed in clouds for what seemed like a long time and there was a bit of turbulence. The flight attendants said it was bumpy in the back of the plane and I’m happy that I’m sitting towards the front of the plane this time. It was a very full flight, in fact they said it was 100% full, leaving Fort Lauderdale for Baltimore. I am sooooo nervous. I wish I was on the ground at home with my family right now. Some people have been getting up to go to the bathroom because they can’t hold it anymore. I don’t like it when the flight attendants aren’t able to get up and start drink service. It makes me nervous when they are asked to stay seated. It provides me some comfort when they are passing through the cabin and staying calm and chatty. It makes everything feel normal. The WiFi conked out while I watching the end of Creed, which I started on my flight to Florida, and so I don’t have a movie or “in flight entertainment” to distract me. I’m always curious about how people can work on an airplane, especially the flight attendants. Clearly I’m way too nervous about planes to have chosen that as a career path. I wonder if they get scared too or if it’s just so normal and ordinary to them that they don’t give much thought to the little bumps and noises and smells that bother me so much. I always figure they like to travel a lot or it beats their other options for whatever reason and they end up spending their days in the air and hoping between airports. I think I’ve written on other flights about how I always set a timer on my phone counting down the minutes till I’m off the plane. I know that the airline apps usually have a tracker too, which I check periodically, but I like having the countdown going on my phone too. I always feel a little more comfortable when the timer gets below 1 hour and then not too long after that the plane will begin making preparations for descent into my destination. I wonder if I will ever feel less anxious about flying on planes? I don’t drink alcohol so that isn’t an option. When I was younger and used to drink alcohol, I’d be sure to have a beer or wine or two before boarding and then at least one drink on the plane. The problem with that method, is that you always have to pee on the plane. It’s become a pet peeve of mine to use the bathroom on a plane. There is always a line! Depending on your seat, getting up is always awkward, especially since you aren’t supposed to form a line or stand up and wait. It can be hard to know whose turn it is to go. I try to avoid using the lavatory whenever possible but I’ve also spent many flights feeling very uncomfortable. I prefer to fly early in the morning. I feel like there are less delays and everyone is still a little half asleep. In the late morning or early afternoon, the flights feel more crowded and everyone is more awake and sometimes kn bad behavior. Typing this out always helps me to feel a little easier. One might ask me, because I know I ask myself, why I took a job that requires me to travel. I think I just took a leap of faith since the opportunity fit my skills set in an uncanny way. It was also a chance to break into real estate development, which at 43 years old, I wasn’t sure is another opportunity would come my way. I suppose that is another post all together but I decided to “go for it” so to speak, even if I disliked flying a great deal.

Fort Lauderdale approach

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